haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize