yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
