I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
