My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize