Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish they made helmets for livers.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
