I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
