I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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