I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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