sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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