Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
