i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
