No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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