FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My bed smells like the plague
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
