Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
