If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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