he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
