We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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