Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
