You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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