billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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