So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've blown a few things in my day
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
