your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
