Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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