Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
