You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
