that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
