some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
