we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
