it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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