New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
