There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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