Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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