If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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