This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
are you so shy because you have an std?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
