I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
