it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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