Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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