After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
