Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm having to shit out rocks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
