I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
