this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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