I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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