Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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