is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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