the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize