i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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