just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
