do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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