Is it normal to miss your booty call?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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