I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
