If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
