Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
