All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
