You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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