Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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