i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
