i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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