I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What a dumb baby whore.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
