in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
