I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
