I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
