8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
worst night to have a conscience
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
