and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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