At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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