Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
