We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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