do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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