Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
