i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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