Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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