do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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