4 words: hood of his car
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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